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Submitted by Sarah on Wed, 11/23/2005 - 10:57am.

#2 from Principles of Conflict Resolution

2. Listen Actively

Listening is the most important part of communication. If we do not hear what the other parties are communicating we can not resolve a conflict. Active listening means not only listening to what another person is saying with words, but also to what is said by intonation and body language. The active listening process also involves letting the speaker know that he or she has been heard. For example, "What I heard you say is......"

I continue to work on this one, I tend to interrupt people I know well, and I catch myself assuming I know what they are going to say.

I especially had to learn this as a parent.

When I pay attention and listen, I am more likely to notice when I don't understand something, then I can ask for clarification rather than make assumptions.

Feel free to join in, I'm not aiming these specifically at our discussions here on this site, I just figure that the more any of us practice clear communication, the better.

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I would really encourage folk

I would really encourage folks to take a moment, and consider what you are doing here. This is not the place to try to "fight" for your view of the world. This is a place for discussion, learning, exchange and understanding. Judgement is not really helpful when it comes to opening minds. Adhering to fixed beliefs is also a quick way to turn people off to your ideas. If you want to engage in verbal combat, there are plenty of websites to choose from (horsesass.org come to mind) where you can be as hard-headed as you want to be. If you'd really like to get down to what makes someone believe what they do, then I recommned curiosity rather than incredulousness.
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"If you'd really like to get

"If you'd really like to get down to what makes someone believe what they do, then I recommend curiosity rather than incredulousness."

An eloquent, wonderful suggestion. For me, taking this stance includes admitting that I don't know everything. I don't know everything, I am not an island, and even if I think I have someone else figured out, I could be wrong.

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I just found this in an email

I just found this in an email from my mom:

Two Wolves

One evening an old man told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old man simply replied, "The one you feed."

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Of all the threads in OlyBlog

Of all the threads in OlyBlog so far, I suspect this one really gets to the heart of Rick's vision when he started this crazy thing. It is a stance that we will not live in fear of alien ideas. What a concept! Somehow, I feel like we have regressed as a culture when it comes to appreciating the wonder and magic of what life has to offer to us. Fear has eclipsed faith. Television has replaced reality. Our sense of community has splintered into special little subcultures. The political climate today appears to be playing on the emotions of greed and fear, and little else. I wonder when that started to happen?

I do have theories and an opinion on this. But I'll make an attempt to listen to Sarah's advice and listen.

Rob, I want to send special thanks to your Mom. That is a beautiful little parable that all of us can use, regardless of our political or cultural stripe.

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